The first time I sat at the Ritz Paris bar in 2023, a man I would have rearranged my entire life for leaned in and told me he didn’t think I had the resilience to be an entrepreneur.
Cue the tears! In the most romantic bar, in the most romantic city in the world, on my very first trip to Paris, sobbing while the person I loved most explained, so gently, that he didn’t believe in me. If you’re new here: I cry often, and I’ve made peace with it. That night, I had not.
Cut to three years later, on my (current) seventh trip to Paris. I’ve just come off the most magical week at Cannes Lions, and was walking home from a long, glorious lunch with a few ambitious material girls I’d met at the club in the South of France. In the middle of listening to Olivia Rodrigo’s drop dead for the 117th time, I looked up: the Ritz Paris entrance stood before me. I chuckled.
Time to rewrite this one, I thought.
So I walked in for only the second time ever, took the last seat at the bar, and ordered a French 75 to toast a first half of the year that included multi-six figures across 25+ brand partnerships, 50+ women coached into building their own brands, one book published, and a second one begun, and a budding speaking career.
The gentleman next to me asked about my work. Turns out he was a Silicon Valley heavyweight, a fellow Northwestern alum, on the board no less, with a daughter starting there in the fall. He gave me genuinely great advice, told me my career was impressive — that it’s even what his daughter aspired to — and we traded contacts. Lovely man.
The validation was nice. I just didn’t need it anymore.
I’d already given it to myself.
For most of the past three years, some small part of me believed my ex.
Every time I grew slower than I wanted, made less than the quarter before, or watched a plan fall apart, that part whispered, see, he was right. I even developed a habit of handing my worth to men, successful or not, as a form of self-protection. But all my bad choices with the wrong guys or the wrong advisers have actually just reflected back to me that I can actually trust my own intuition.
To be clear, this is not a perfectly clean comeback story. I scaled a robe company and then closed it. I almost walked away from content entirely, then doubled my audience in a year. I’ve had six-figure quarters and I’ve had quarters with nothing in my account.
But every single time something went well or went to shit, I got back up, found the creativity again, trusted my vision, and took another step towards my own dreams.
Every version of me that made it through the last few years made it because she moved before she felt prepared.
I hired my assistant before the money was allocated, because I decided the year was happening and the money always comes. I opened office hours before I felt qualified to charge, and they sold out from a single Instagram story. Every one of those was an action I took while scared (VERY!!SCARED!!!), and every one of them left a receipt, a piece of data that has turned into undeniable proof that, well, I’m an excellent entrepreneur.
Resilience, the exact thing he said I didn’t have, is what these reps compounded into (btw I’ve always had it — I did grow up in the projects for God’s sake!) You aren’t born with grit. You move before you feel ready, over and over, and each time a little more evidence lands, until one day you notice you can handle anything, which is the only definition of the word that has ever mattered.
The peace I felt at that bar was earned the boring way. One action at a time, most of them taken while I had no idea how any of it would work. I have enough proof for myself that I can make anything happen, and I’m only at the beginning of my arc. That’s what made me cry on the way out this time — gratitude.
And to be crystal clear, I’m not someone who is motivated by spite.
(if I was, I’d be a billionaire by now lol y’all STAY underestimating me!) I didn’t walk back into that room to ‘win’ and I have no time to have ill will towards my exes or even my ops. I walked in because I’d become a woman the old story doesn’t fit anymore AND I WANT TO ENJOY THE RITZ PARIS.
So if you’re waiting to feel ready, to feel resilient, to feel sure, stop waiting. Readiness is the reward for starting, and it shows up after. Do the thing badly. Show back up. Let the receipts pile so high that nobody’s opinion of your ambition can move you an inch. Not your mentor. Not the man at the bar. Not even the man you love the most.
It’s none of your business what other people think you’re capable of. Somewhere across three years and seven trips to Paris, it became none of mine.
A few of you might be feeling this in your chest - and you know why.
If you’re a high achiever with real traction, building your brand around the skills or the business you already have, I’m right there with you. We have enough well-documented women on the internet. We need more well-rounded ones, the kind building their content around an actual skill set instead of a camera roll.
The Authority Edit, my small-group advisory, is for girls ready to take advantage of this moment and scale fast. You already have traction. You have receipts. You’re staring down multiple six figures, or seven, and the only thing standing between you and it is a positioning problem you cannot solve from inside your own head.
Over the six months, I’ve helped women gain hundreds of thousands of followers and make multiple six figures from their content, the same thing I’ve built for myself, and I want to do it with more of you who are TRULY serious about scaling your impact. If you want a pep talk, or permission to start, or to get comfortable with creating content for the first time, I love you, and this is the wrong room.
If that’s you, you knew by the second paragraph. My inbox is open — respond to this and tell me what you’re stuck on to see if it’s the right fit.
Until next time,
Alexis xx
Thank you Janet Oganah, Observant Olive, Angèle-Marie, bre., Angela Holmberg, and many others for tuning into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.
